The Office Flower Rivalry?

Daffodil FlowerCall me crazy, but I get the feeling that there’s a guy in this office who really dislikes me. His name is Herbert, I think, and he’s been giving me weird looks ever since I got here. Still says good morning, but in a way that sort of also says that he wants to toss me out the window. So we’ve mostly been ignoring each other, but things came to a head when Suzanne asked me to bring in some of the hyacinth mixed bulbs I have growing in my garden. I just let it slip in conversation, and Suzanne happened to be into flowers so I showed her some pictures…honestly, she’s been wanting to see them for ages since then. I mean, I do what I can with my garden. Right now the hyacinths are looking great, properly blooming in that figure-eight that I planted as the main feature of the garden. And sure, but that’s more to do with the good amount of light rain we’ve been having more than anything else. Anyone could do something like that.

Then I brought in some hyacinths and put them on Suzanne’s desk…well, I caught a glimpse of Herbert’s face. Only for a second, but it was like he wanted to toss me out the window and THEN chuck a sofa right on top of me, then set the whole thing on fire. So yeah, he hates me. Maybe it’s something to do with the policies. He’d introduced all this weird stuff that would save money, but I had to go through it and raise the issue at the meeting. Basically, I made it so the office will be 60% more efficient while not sacrificing employee perks or cutting into work-time. Actually, I do sort of have an algorithm that would mean we could all go home half-an-hour early while improving productivity by 20% but…well, that’s for next meeting.

But that went against what Herbert wanted. And apparently he’s into flowers too, grows his own tulips and such. Fair enough, maybe I’ll just let him be the plant guy. But I tried to give him some of my own tulip bulbs, and I later found them crushed in the bin. Some people are just…hard to deal with.

-Mack

Gardens and Flowers and Such

Tulipa Paul Scherer14 Ill.Flowerbulb, BorderTTSome people say I have a green thumb, which is really just kind of silly. I don’t even have time to grow things, so I don’t know what they mean. My garden is just kind of…well, it does its own thing most of the time. So I guess you could say it’s a bit wild. If you wanted to, I dunno. Can if you want.

I suppose there are some flowers. Sometimes I use them to test my memory skills, because you know, as you stop being a teenager your brain starts losing cells or whatever. I’ve heard that, so I try to remember all the names of whatever’s in my garden. So on the left you have a row of daffodil double ice king, so named for their white colour. Yeah, dunno how they got there. Wait, did I plant those bulbs earlier, in the spring? Yeah, I think I did, actually…and there we go, my memory is already fading to pretty much nothing. My downward spiral has begun, and soon I’ll be struggling to sign any kind of form because I can’t remember how my own signature goes.

So yeah, those are daffodils. They sure are nice, you know? They can be hard to grow but they really add a bit of colour to the place once you get them up there and healthy. So yeah, daffodils and such, but I’m not sure I remember most of the others. They’re, like…hyacinths? I don’t know much about them, but they look nice so I thought I’d give them a go.

I really shouldn’t spend so much time out there. I mean, it’s not like flowers really do anything for anyone. I don’t even have a girlfriend to palm them off to, so really…they’re just colourful. I guess that’s fine, the way they are. And I mean, that sure is a lot of colour, you know? I didn’t even know when I got those mixed Hyacinth bulbs that I’d be looking at this much awesome colour. So yeah, maybe I’ll get some more bulbs, plant some more plants…depending on the season, of course.

-Mack