Sad at Everything

You know, being good at everything isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, at first it’s great. You’re a jack of all trades, basically a walking Mary Sue. Got issues with your plumbing? Great, you can fix it yourself. Bored and want a book to read? Just write one! When your gifts are kept private it’s great.

It’s when people realise that you’re good at literally anything that the trouble starts. My life these days is basically just giving favours. I had a friend call me last night and ask if I could help him with some glass repair. What was I supposed to say? “Nah, don’t really feel like it, Todd.” So I spent my night helping him repair a glass balustrade for free. There’s this incredibly heavy weight upon me to help everybody who asks.

Every few days I get a call from my mother, asking me to fix her shower. If I suggest she get a plumber, she kindly points out that she would have to pay a plumber. Apparently I’m only good for free labour, so you know, life’s just swell. Then there’s my brother, needing me to make his sandwiches, because I “just make them better”. Give me a break. Todd, can’t you just get a professional who fixes glass balustrades near the Melbourne CBD? I live like two hours away.

There are other downsides to being good at everything. Video games, for example, aren’t that fun for me. There’s no challenge. I boot up Spinning Bandicoot That Looks More Like a Fox and get the Iridium Relics (which most people don’t even know about) on my first attempt. I play Shout of Obligation on the hardest difficulty and don’t die once. I don’t even take damage!

Point is, if you’re bad at something, you should be grateful. What I wouldn’t give to be awful at just one thing in my life.

The Ocean Blue

Obviously, this whole situation of people moving the the great ocean blue suits me just fine. I’m not precious about my domain, because there’s enough ocean to go around. It’s just nice that everyone is finally returning to the place humans are best suited for, instead of this foolish dry land nonsense. Dry land is overrated. Not even once.

To be honest, while our family mostly fares ABOVE the sea, I’m alright with everyone suddenly heading underneath it. They’ll still need to get around the place, so they’ll need things like outboard motor servicing and that’s where the industry thrives. No doubt they’ll want to visit their treasures and attractions on the mainland, feel the ground beneath their feet every now and then, so they’ll all need boats, and this will become a true, boat-faring civilisation. Or at least, everyone will use boats to get around instead of cars, our mortal enemy, and an extremely inefficient method of transportation when it comes to the sea. They can all rust on land, so far as we care…a forgotten relic of the time when mankind thought that they were creatures of the accursed dry land.

V8 supercars are sort of interesting, though. I like the funny noise they make.

Of course, with the advent of all these outboard motors that need servicing and companies that deal with anchor winch repairs popping up, there will be a new age of piracy along with it. Inevitably, my family will return to their old ways of thieving and plundering. We can’t help it; it’s just in our blood.

But won’t that make things FUN? Just so terribly fun. The ocean is wonderful, but it can be a bit boring sometimes, and being set upon by pirates really livens up your day.

-Jacob

My Perfect Manor

Life would be so much easier if we were back in the 1700s. You didn’t need to worry about getting on the property ladder, or saving up for years for the deposit on a tiny apartment in the city centre without so much as a supermarket nearby. No, you were either born into poverty- so you were born and died in the same house- or you were born into the aristocracy, and you inherited a mansion. There were no middle-sized homes, did you know? Yep, just hovels and mansions. Hovels and mansions, all over the dang place. I’ve only ever seen period dramas, but I’m pretty sure that was the way of things.

Then someone came up with the idea of BUYING homes, and suddenly everything got complicated. Now I have our financial planner asking us if we’ve considered the services of a buyers advocate. Specialists in Melbourne just have no end, it would seem. I had to stroke my chin and pretend I knew what that was while making a mental note to google it when we got home. Apparently they help you look for high-end property, which sounds great because I don’t think finding a home has ever been as hard as it right here and now, in 2018. Melbourne. Australia. Earth.

This is why we had a financial planner in the first place: so that we could get through this stuff, paperwork and all. Now I guess we need a buyers advocate because the thought of pounding the pavement, looking at homes and trying to pretend that we know exactly what we like and do not like, is not one that appeals to me. Certain people just exist in the world to take the pressure off. Electricians, estate agents, pet sitters, gardeners…and now, I guess, buyers advocates. Melbourne home buyers better prepare, because we’re here, we have no clue what we want and what we’re doing, and we’re stressed about it. Hide your desk mints; I eat when I’m stressed.

-Jacinta

Solar Energy is Pretty Absorbing

commercial solar MelbourneThis solar energy thing was really what I needed in the end. Man, I’d forgotten what it was like to actually have something to DO, you know? And the fact that it’s something really intricate definitely helps.

So everyone knows about this whole commercial solar power trend sweeping the nation, or so it would seem. I’ve spent so long cooped up in here that I couldn’t even tell you a single movie that came out in the last year, but I DO know about solar energy. The family over the road just had a few panels installed on the roof, and they seem to be enjoying it. Well, as much as you can in this weather, anyway. The stuff I’ve been instructed to research is actual commercial solar available in Melbourne, so we’re talking potential fields of panels to provide large-scale operations with power. That’s the vision for the future, anyway: massive plains of solar panels to provide power to entire cities. Maybe a few wind turbines dotted here and there…I’ll ask. Regardless, I need to figure out exactly how this stuff works so I can replicate it for the mission in the future. Whenever that may be. And as I expected, solar panels aren’t as simple as they look. It’s not just…flat panel, absorbs the sunlight, stores it in a bottle. The panels themselves are multi-layered and actually pretty hard to create, hence why you’re not going to have them installed on your home or business with a handful of pocket change. I’m not complaining, though; in fact, I’m really enjoying the project. At this point, I’m thinking I can start to develop my own, rudimentary version with the right tools and materials, although not quite to an industrial standard. And after that I have to look into industrial LED lighting for sale in Melbourne and see what i can find out there. Having multiple projects lined up feels pretty good, actually…

-Mack

Suddenly, Clearing Out the Shed

pest control MorningtonSuddenly, I feel this weird urge to go scuba diving. I cannot tell you why- maybe I saw it somewhere and it just nestled in my brain. I don’t remember watching or reading anything even vaguely connected to the subject, so maybe it was a dream. I just had some kind of super-HD, yet forgotten dream in which I went scuba diving and had a great time, I guess.

Actually, this has been happening a lot recently. Got a strange urge the other day to make sushi, which was a lot easier. I just went to the supermarket and got all the ingredients, simple as that. And then I had an actual dream where I was in a termite nest and I was fighting off hordes of the local residents. That’s what made me call the Mornington termite inspection people to sort out the shed.

I guess I could’ve done it myself- getting rid of termites isn’t as hard as all that- but that’s just the last few weeks all over. I’m too listless to actually focus on something like that. Not overly fond of bugs, either.

I don’t think there ended up being too many termites, but I did get the chance to look into the state of the shed and it’s not great. One of the things I’ve actually managed to motivate myself to do- sushi creation aside- is clear up the shed. New coat of paint, holes in the walls fixed, secret under-floor passageway properly hidden. It’s been a refreshing bit of DIY, all things considered; maybe I should get termites more often.

Or not. I should check for any signs that they got in the house, probably. Or maybe I could open up the walls and take a look for ants. Honestly, I’m spending my time in the weirdest ways. I should just call the Mornington pest control folks and spend my time more wisely.

-Mack

That Homeowner Dream

property advocatesBeen looking at homes a lot, recently. Not sure why, since it’s not like I’m moving any time soon, but I do like to think about what it would be like if I had that much time left. Been living the normal life for so long that I guess I’ve started to crave it. And then you’ve got owning your own home, which is like…the normal life: extreme edition. It’s the most normal thing you can possibly do…or rather, it used to be. I guess it’s harder for young people nowadays. Not for me, but I’m me, so there’s that.

To think that there are people whose main job is to help people find and buy houses. Like, a whole industry around houses. There’s been a lot of talk about property advocates based in Melbourne recently. I guess it’s an up and coming thing that people want. Don’t understand it too well myself, but maybe it’s just my generation. We all think we can find everything in the world on the internet without having to hire anyone to do it for us.

Maybe it’s a good thing that people like property advocates exist. The internet is great for searching, but what about if you need that personal touch? You won’t get that from browsing a few photos. Talking to a person who knows what they’re doing is something young people think we can do without a lot of the time.

Of course, you could always just go out and pound the pavement, but it’s not for everyone. Maybe just for people living the normal life. If you want the extreme upgrade, I guess you look around Melbourne for top buyers advocates to help you out with that million-dollar property. If that’s your thing. Guess I’ll just have to wonder for the rest of my life what all of that would really be like.

-Mack

Climbing the Walls, Literally

mobile aluminium scaffoldingHard work pays off, or so they say. It’s a nice thought.

Man, I’m getting so bored just hanging out here, I almost wish I was back at work with Sandra boring into the back of my head with her eyes. Actually, strike that…I’m really enjoying that not being a part of my life anymore. She’s probably having a great time in that office without me, while I’m here, so bored I’m climbing up the walls. In fact, I’m seriously considering starting a course in climbing walls, because it’d at least be something to do.

When you’re ordering a set of mobile aluminium scaffolding JUST for the challenge of setting it up, that’s when things are reaching some sort of critical point. Truthfully, I’ve kinda enjoyed setting up the whole scaffolding project. Assembled it in the back garden, had a bit of a climb, ate my sandwiches up there and then…dismantled it and went for a speed run. No, really. The first thing I did after the mobile scaffolding was dismantled was put it right back together again. I managed to beat my time, but you’d expect that after I’ve done it once. It took several more rounds but after 5 hours I had the process worked out.

And once I am the undisputed lord of mobile platforms…I don’t know. I’ll probably donate it to some tradesperson around here who can make use of it. It’s pretty good quality, and that stuff isn’t…well, it’s not cheap. Money won’t matter to me so much, pretty soon. Meanwhile, some tradesperson in Melbourne somewhere can go on and climb ladders, do paint jobs, fix roofing…or whatever people actually use this for. I saw a bit of it at the office, but only from the outside.

Doesn’t matter. Aluminium work platforms can be ticked off the list then. What can I become the undisputed master of next? Pot plants, maybe. I hear they can be quite entertaining.

-Mack

In Search of Office Lights

commercial lighting solutions MelbourneSandra isn’t happy, and for once, I have nothing to do with it. That’s a nice feeling, even though I can really see where’s she coming from, what with this new boss not being…exactly what we expected, I’ll say. The bosses from on high got on touch and said they had a replacement for the other guy after he threw himself out the window (or was pushed. I have my suspicions).

Anyway, I’m looking at lighting for the office. With everything going on, you’d expect we’d be hard at work getting new clients. Things have been tight ever since Lawrence Corp kept eating up all the competition, hence why we were working so hard before, but…no, it’s all lighting, for this week at least. Lighting is fun, in its own way. Got to say, some of these commercial lighting solutions around Melbourne are looking pretty nice. Right here and now we have this really harsh set of lights that don’t really do much for looking at a computer screen all day. Like, really…’white’ light? I don’t know how to describe it.

Actually, the change of pace seems to be doing me some good. I haven’t been sleeping well (maybe it’s the weird office lighting messing with my sleep cycle- now it all makes sense!), and otherwise things have been…well, stressful. Not that looking at lighting is necessarily mundane- there are some really interesting types out there, and then I stumbled onto the lighting exhibition page- but it’s more relaxing than our usual work. Than MY usual work, also.

We’ll have to get back to things at some stage, though, otherwise the office is going under. Seriously, I’ll have to mention something to the new boss. He’s really friendly and seems to need a lot of guidance, so…maybe I should chip in. Commercial lighting solutions all taken care of, boss. Let’s get back to some real work now?

-Mack

Need to Stop Wrecking the Nets

sports netting onlineI stopped playing sport a while ago, but I still feel the urge to get back into it sometimes. Something about exercise really just calms the mind- all the endorphins, I guess- and then playing in a team promotes social skills. So yeah, I need…all of that. All of it is definitely useful.

Too bad I don’t get out all that much. The tennis club didn’t want me back ever since I sort of ruined the game for a lot of people. I always thought tennis nets were the most sturdy sports netting of them all, what with how they have to withstand people whacking the ball right into them all the time. I’ve seen tennis at the various opens; those balls move at some powerful speeds. So I took my cue from that, played a few games…turns out I was hitting the thing too hard, since I ended up putting holes in the net. The umpire said he’d never seen anything like it, and I was told of for hitting the ball so hard.

But you know what it’s like when you see an opportunity for a swift overhead smash. You just have to jump on those opportunities, and sometimes they don’t quite clear the net…and clearly I don’t know my own strength. I mean, obviously. I kept breaking the nets. First person to ever get kicked out of the tennis league. Hurrah for me.

Then there was that brief period playing soccer, which was alright even if I tend to get kind of aggressive around people in a competitive environment. It’s okay with tennis where your opponent is over the net; soccer is right up in people’s faces. I didn’t meant to, but…injuries happened. I just feel the need to defend myself sometimes, because…well, anyway. The soccer nets were suffering with the power of my shots, so I had to quit that as well. So what’s left? Lawn bowls? No, those things are heavy…maybe badminton.

-Mack

We All Need a Bit of Motivation

Melbourne keynote speakerI could learn Swedish. I mean, I could’ve learned Swedish, if I’d had a bit more time. How hard is Swedish, really? Finding a teacher would’ve been difficult, especially here in Melbourne, but maybe I could’ve done it by distance. Might’ve been fun. Anyway, got a job to do…

Oh, and speaking of which, had an interesting week at the other job. I haven’t been talking to people quite as much as I usually do, but I thought I’d give it a go. Can’t spend my whole life being antisocial. Then it turned out that we were getting in an inspirational business speaker for a day of office cooperation, so…pretty much sorted. I’d still be at work, but maybe the office people will get to know each other a little bit better. Not sure if we’re in for trust falls or anything…I get the feeling that nobody takes that stuff seriously any more. Yeah, it’s kind of a meme at this point.

I’ve seen with my own eyes what a really good motivational speech can do for a bunch of people, and the best part is that it doesn’t matter what type of people they are. Slackers, neat-freaks, team-players, go-getters, uptight folk, grouches, whatever and whoever you are, words sway people. Like I said, I’ve seen it. Get in a good inspirational speaker and you can’t really resist going along with what they say. The best make lasting change, of course.

Should be interesting to see what we come up with. Actually, maybe a bit of motivation is what I need at the moment. I’ve been lacking for a while…you know how it can get, when something drags out for a really long time and you just get tired. Life in general can be like that, I guess. That’s when you look for inspiration. Sometimes it’s in the small things, the unexpected places. And then your workplace hires an actual Melbourne keynote speaker to pep everyone up and give us ways to be better employees. I guess that’s the purpose. I’ll see what I get out of it.

-Mack